BSOHF

Ok, so Saturday night I hit rock bottom. I've struggled with addiction to any drug, mainly marijuana and cocaine, but above all, alcohol. I've laid off marijuana and cocaine, for they absolutely destroy your body and the beautiful mind you are given.

Anyhow, Saturday night I popped 6 librium (green and black ones, I think 10mg?). Anyways, shortly thereafter I started taking shots of vodka, probably 3-6 total. I then went to Ruby Tuesday's with my GF, had two large beers there. My GF eventually left me and I continued drinking at the bar until the manager said I was a nuisance and cut me off. So, I then very stupidly found myself another bar and continued taking shot after shot and beer after beer until ONCE AGAIN the manager said, for my own safety, I'm cut off. Thank God. I then returned home, become hostile with my GF (I want to kill myself for what I do blacked out), and must have downed the rest of the librium. So, more than likely I took 12-17 Librium along with a BAC (of which I later learned) of .243. My GF called the police (thank God for her safety) and I fought with paramedics and officers until they got me tied down. Anyways, the next morning I woke up with a catheter and IV, but my right arm has been numb ever since (Sunday morning). I'm starting to get feelings back in my pinky, middle, and ring finger, but mostly my thumb is still numb (like asleep) and my arm feels heavy. Also it feels like I have awkward movements with it, like I can't precisely control it. I'm a bit scared.... I noticed they had tried sticking me with something in my right arm but didn't have anything there when I woke up.

Sorry for the typing, I guess I'm crying for help, but is this just a bad shot with the needle? Did they hit my muscle and temporary numb out my right fingers and make this heavy feeling? I'm hoping to God it's not a stroke (no other symptoms) and they checked me out fine of the ER.

I started Antabuse today and hope to get on my road to recovery. Alcohol and other drugs are so vile, so detrimental to today's society, and I'm only a testament to it.

Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for the answers.